


Forgiveness

by justtoarguewithyou



Series: Tumblr Comfort Mini Fest with SwottyPotter [6]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Marauders Friendship (Harry Potter), The Prank
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-24
Updated: 2020-09-24
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:21:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,554
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26630548
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justtoarguewithyou/pseuds/justtoarguewithyou
Summary: I hate the Prank; it makes no sense in any way.But it's also a good starting point for Forgiveness. So here we go.
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Series: Tumblr Comfort Mini Fest with SwottyPotter [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1933714
Comments: 13
Kudos: 18





	Forgiveness

The moon was waxing, and Remus was already very tired. Friday would be a full moon. The first full moon of his last year at Hogwarts.

It was a shame the penumbral lunar eclipse wouldn’t be visible this time. Remus loved an eclipse because as the moon was obscured, he could feel himself waking up inside the wolf, which was fun. During an eclipse, he had little moments that were his own, when he could fully appreciate his friends, and their forest adventures.

He wondered what a total eclipse would feel like. When the moon was totally obscured, would it be what he imagined being an Animagus felt like? Total eclipses were rare, and even rarer that they would be visible where he was. But now he wondered.

He hadn’t experienced too many total eclipses in his 17 years. Only ten.

There hadn’t been one since before The Prank.

 _What a stupid thing to call it_ , Remus thought.

It hadn’t been funny, or harmless. Whatever mischief Snape had wanted to cause wasn’t worth his death. James had stopped Snape from reaching the wolf. Sirius didn’t come, and neither did Peter.

It had been his first full moon alone in ages. The wolf had howled long and loud over that.

Sirius, who had never hidden from anything in his life, had hidden from Remus the entire day after his transformation. Remus had been hurt and disappointed when he woke up in the hospital wing to James sitting in the chair by his bed.

James had been furious.

“We’re sending you to Coventry,” James had hissed at Sirius when he slunk into the common room that night. He hadn’t even been at dinner.

Sirius, looking even further crestfallen, had watched James turn on his heel, and march up to the dormitory. For the rest of the school term, neither James nor Peter would speak to Sirius, or look at him, or even acknowledge his existence in any way. If they had known how deeply it cut him, they would never have done it. But Sirius bore his punishment stoically, falling back on the lessons he’d learned in early childhood to avoid further punishment at his mother’s hand.

Sirius had been slightly ecstatic when Remus, on the other hand, had been furious with him and told him so. They had it out over several nights in the dormitory alone together. James swore dust fell from the common room ceiling from all the magic and anger rolling off the pair of them overhead.

Sirius had been defensive and embarrassed, and hated himself for what he’d done. Remus had been torn between wanting to hold Sirius accountable for his actions, yet extending him the grace to be a person who was capable of learning from their cock-ups. Though, to be fair to himself, this was a pretty monumental cock-up.

“I’m sorry, Moony, I didn’t think—it’s just the Black coming out, the familial madness,” Sirius said, not daring to call it lunacy.

In their more tender moments after Sirius had confessed his feelings only weeks before, Sirius said it was the Black lunacy that drew him to Remus, to his Moony.

“Bollocks,” Remus said vehemently. “No Black would’ve exacted any kind of revenge in such a careless way. They’re all Slytherins—they’d never get caught. You’re lucky Dumbledore didn’t expel you.”

Sirius hummed thoughtfully. “That’s true. But this does fall under the heading of wanton destruction, at which the Blacks also excel. Seems I’ve done a lot of that, if James and Peter are anything to go by.”

“Well. They’ll come around.”

The Prank had taken place on June 1, the last full moon of the school year. The wolf had run alone all summer. Well. Not run—the shed was always unbearable after running free in the Forbidden Forest.

Sirius had written several plaintive letters to Remus over the summer. And Remus had answered them; curt at first. But as the summer wore on, Remus was better able to fill the pages. They wrote about it, because they had to.

_I still don’t understand, Sirius. I don’t think I’ll ever understand. How can you love me, call me your friend, more than your friend, and betray me? And not just me, but the wolf as well? And for what? If it had worked, and Snape had been injured, or died, or turned…I could’ve been arrested. Or worse, Sirius._

_What if I had been sent to Azkaban? What if I had been kissed? Or, what if the Ministry had decided to not even extend me that courtesy. What if the Ministry had decided to exterminate me?_

_It’s absurd, Sirius. I’ll never really believe you did it. It feels imaginary; like this was some half-hearted attempt to establish a secondary character’s motive in a children’s novel…it makes no sense. Believe me, I know, having read a lot of novels._

_I’ll see you on the platform the day after tomorrow._

The train ride had been a bit frosty. Remus knew that Peter hadn’t responded to any of Sirius’s letters, but had written to James and Remus. Peter was excellent at holding a grudge.

Remus also knew that Sirius and James had reestablished their comradery after an impromptu fistfight in the back garden two nights after they got home. Their battle resulted in a black eye apiece, a broken pinky, a cracked metatarsal, and various bruises to their arms, backs and stomachs. Sirius even had a bite on his tricep.

Fleamont had broken it up, and whisked them into the greenhouse, where he episkied them without comment. After a few silent moments—the boys looking and feeling foolish, and Fleamont’s eyebrows furrowed in consternation—he warned them against mentioning any of it to Euphemia. Luckily, she hadn’t seen any of it, having gone into the living room before the fight broke out.

“…unless you both want an hours-long lecture on the immorality of violence as a problem-solving technique,” Fleamont had said, eyebrows still drawn together. “Though it might do you some good to hear it.”

James and Sirius had also established an armed neutrality regarding Snape: James was determined that they should ignore Snape this year, no matter what he did.

Sirius had agreed because he loved his friends more than he hated Snape.

Sirius still looked slightly ashamed as they met Remus on the platform. But Remus had smiled, and had been kind during their train ride. They had shared snacks from the trolley and talked about their upcoming NEWTS, and placed their annuals bets on the question of Lily going out with James.

Remus had held Sirius’s hand as they sat in the horseless carriage together, and Sirius’s usually ramrod straight posture wilted with relief; he might have cried, if it had not been for James and Peter’s presence.

The welcome feast was delicious as usual. Remus caught Lily looking sideways at James a few times, and felt good about his odds of winning the pot.

They had unpacked after, and spent time together in the common room. Sirius had managed to get a weak laugh out of Peter. At midnight, when James and Peter were snoring, Sirius parted Remus’s bed curtains.

“Come on, then,” Remus scooted over to let Sirius in. Sirius needed the comfort and the absolution of Remus’s arms.

As was their custom, Sirius still whispered “Good night, I love you,” and now added that he was so very sorry. Remus wished he didn’t have to add the second part, but he did.

“I love you, too,” Remus said.

Then Sirius cried, smothering his sobs with the pillow, and with Remus’s mouth as he kissed him. Sirius apologized over and over. And Remus, who loved Sirius more than he had ever loved anyone, cried, too, and caressed Sirius’s hair, and they kissed so gently over and over.

“This year will have to be different,” Remus whispered between kisses. “You can’t just say that you’re sorry. You’ll have to live it, too. It’s time to grow up, _dauphin_.”

Sirius could only nod desperately, as he took off their clothes because he needed the warmth of Remus’s skin. He fell asleep under Remus’s arm, with his face pressed to Remus’s rib cage, his fingers curled over Remus’s hipbone, his leg hooked over Remus’s legs.

The next morning, Sirius sent Snape to Coventry, and found that life was more relaxed and enjoyable when Severus Snape didn’t exist. Sirius began to accompany Remus to the library for homework, and had even remained awake during Arithmancy lectures.

Soon, their first full moon rose, and Remus was more himself than the wolf for a short while during the penumbral lunar eclipse.

If Remus had brooded over the summer, the wolf had not. The minute the wolf emerged fully and sensed its companions, it headed to the usual play spots in the Forbidden Forest, choosing to run to the dell furthest away. The wolf was happy.

The transformation had been more mild than usual because of the eclipse and when Remus awoke, Sirius was tucked under his arm in the hospital wing bed, which Sirius had charmed larger to accommodate himself. Madame Pomfrey had stopped fighting that battle in their 5th year.

“Morning. Feeling all right?” Sirius asked.

“Yes, just fine,” Remus said, leaning into Sirius’s hand that gently touching his curls.

**Author's Note:**

> Please send me prompts. This is more fun than watching TV. I am on [Tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/justtoarguewithyou)


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